My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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