you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
