I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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