I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
