i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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