you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
