Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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