This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
