Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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