did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
