SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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