Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
