no, he came in my armpit
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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