New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Randomize
