My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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