omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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