I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
