forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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