you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
