i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
