She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
