Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
