Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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