She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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