it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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