K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
