I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
