His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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