my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Enjoy the penises
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
