my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
