I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
