There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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