Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
