You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
