Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Dear god my vagina.
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