My room smells like vodka and shame
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
