I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
