Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
