Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
