i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
