There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
