what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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