Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
