you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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