Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
