Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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