first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
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