she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Randomize
