Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
