I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Two words: blizzard sex
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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