her vagine was all disorganized.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
